I do miss you sometimes

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Sitting in my boyfriends bed – he’s upstairs watching soccer – usually I sit with him and watch but tonight a strange feeling came over me so I’ve come downstairs to write.

I do miss my ex husband sometimes. Like right now, listening to music that we discovered together and loved. Songs we sang to over a glass of wine while I was cooking and he sat on the kitchen counter next to me. The two of us giggling over something and his smile stained a purplish, red from the wine. I do miss those moments.

And I think thats ok and I think its ok to admit it.

For the first time in possibly my whole life, there has been a month where I didn’t stress financially.ย I’ve never been more secure in myself as I am right now – I finally went back to the gym last week and have stopped eating cake on a daily basis lol.

Things are good.

Of course things with A are perfect. Its been over a year and some how he is still the most incredible person I have ever met and I fall more and more in love with him every day – I know how cliche that sounds! But its true.

So do I miss my ex husband sometimes? Ye of course I do. Is it a big deal however? No, of course not.

 

 

 

 

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God alone knows what Chapter or Day we’re on? But A special thank you to you all

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HI ๐Ÿ™‚

Its me…

Thanks to everyone who still follows and thank you to the new followers that I have gained during my absence – Its been 3 months.

I’ve started a blog for my business and it would mean the world to me if all my loyal followers could check it out ๐Ÿ™‚

NEW BLOG FOR THE BUSINESS

You guys have been with me through it all. Through the divorce and the eating disorder and when I decided to start the business. Through this blog I have received so much help with my anxiety especially with everyones comments and posts about their own struggles. I really hope that you will all continue to keep following me on this journey ๐Ÿ™‚

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Update:

A, my boyfriend, for those of you who forgot haha – came home with me to my family for Christmas and it was so wonderful. We’re still together and its been a year guys ๐Ÿ™‚ and I fall more and more in love with him even day – I know how cliche that sounds, but its true.

My business is doing well ๐Ÿ™‚

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It feels like things are going slowly – but they actually aren’t if I look back. If I look back to 3 months ago when I did my last post a lot has happened. And it seems like my business has actually just grown overnight.

  1. I’ve moved into a new studio and its marvelous
  2. I got into my first store – and thats why I have been so quiet. I had to design an A/W collection and send all the samples for review and then they liked me ๐Ÿ™‚ so I am supplying them for winter for my winter collection. Which is huge because this store holds a lot of the top designers in the country, SA, and to showcase my clothing alongside them is such a blessing.
  3. I’ve become a huge advocate for the fashion revolution and I’m the official face of the Fashion Revolution at Fashion Week SA which is in a weeks time – this is so super exciting!
  4. My brother got married and I made my sister in laws dress and she looked absolutely stunning ๐Ÿ™‚

Thats about it ๐Ÿ™‚ and my hair os blonde now and I still struggle with food and have been to the gym about 5 times this year…eeek

I promise to try my best to post more regularly!

 

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Happy Divorcaversary – 4 December

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Its exactly a year to the day that my divorce decree was granted in the courts and all was finalized.

I was standing on a mountain in Mossel Bay with N and we kissed and he said โ€˜Hereโ€™s to no longer living in adulteryโ€™ and we laughed and hugged.

Then it was over.

Just like that – a judge signs the papers and 3.5 years is dissolved – just like that.

When you think of fashion design, you donโ€™t think of a girl wearing Mickey mouse pjs, a top knot in her hair, and papers and books and drawings all around her – Day 11

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But that was me today lol

I only showered at about 16h00.ย  I spent the day on the floor outside – because it was so fucking hot today. Working and making smoothies every time I got hungry because I only have yogurt and fruit in my house. Listening to the water feature outside my uncles front door and in the background hearing the cleaning lady singing along to Lordeโ€™s Royals, in the background.

Two clothing boutiques have got back to me and I spent my whole day making catalogues and working on a presentation for them.

If this deal comes through for me – I will literally be over the moon. I swear, I will jump over the moon. Thats just how happy I will be.

Who am I kidding? – Day 10

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I have just released the lookbook for my latest collection and I hate it.

It isn’t nearly as good as my last collection – it isn’t getting as many likes and people aren’t contacting me.

Who am I kidding to think I can even be a fashion designer? That I can actually make money off this? That people will actually wear my clothes.

I am heading down a negative spiral!

Of course I know how unhealthy these thoughts are and that I need to be kind to myself – but the anxiety is just taking over.

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