I received my divorce settlement today. I cant explain the emotions. When serious things like this happen to me I seem to go into crisis mode and I lose emotions and I become very straight forward and my problem solving skills emerge. Of course it was a really strange sensation and anxiety ridden and sad and awful. It was crisis mode however and I read though everything an called my lawyer immediately. The settlement is very straight forward, its a real clean break which we are happy about. There is one tiny flaw, my husband didn’t tell his lawyers about money that we got as gifts, this money should be shared equally between the two of us.
It’s not a big sum of money. It’s double the amount I make a month at work, but in the long run fighting for this amount of money is actually going to cost us more in law fees and it is going to make the process take longer and there will be more admin and just more emotional trauma really. If we don’t fight we can make this smoother and end it quicker and less painful. The divorce will be happening through the high court and not the regional court which is more expensive but also much quicker. So in conclusion and I am getting Zero out of the divorce and my husband will probably use our wedding money to pay his lawyers and I will have to figure out a way to pay my lawyer with my money – god alone knows how I am going to afford this.
So for now I wait for my lawyer to contact me as I need to sign the settlement agreement, he however is not comfortable with me going to to my husbands law firm by myself and signing – so he is going to suggest a different way. I like him, he is awesome.
Now dear Mr Hypocrite
Darling Mr hypocrite my husband who wants to be a civil servant and fight for the poor. Wasn’t it you who always said he was a minimalist and wanted to live on the streets in poverty because of the inequality of the world. The first night I left you, you shouted to the heavens with joy ‘ This is the best thing you could have ever done for me, all I have ever wanted was to be poor and live on the streets and save the poor, thank you for leaving me and doing me such a favour, you can have all the money and all the assets, I want nothing, I am going to live on the streets!’. How ironic that you now wont even share the money that is rightly ours as a couple.
And I am the spoilt brat that only cares about money 🙂 yet I’m giving you all the money. I’m so horrified. When I say all these things out loud I cant believe I didn’t see that there was clearly a personality issue. Grandiose and narcissistic. I found this charming somehow.
Another fun thing about money, is this email to our priest that married us:
2015/08/11 04:49 PM >>>
Dear Father (name removed) I never sent you a thank you for our wedding. It was a very overwhelming period for both Danielle and I. I have some sad news, we are getting divorced. I love her dearly, and I will miss her terribly. Father I am emailing you because I’ve been meaning to make a donation to the church. I won’t be traveling there again and I was hoping you could send me the bank account details. Thank you (name removed)
Sadly this email backfired. Did you really think that by donating money to the church the priest would ignore everything else and notice how giving you are? He didn’t by the way. He instead happened to bump into my mother and told her about the email, and said he is very sad and thinks you are deeply troubled and that you should have stopped the wedding on the day of the wedding when he asked you if you were ok, because he sensed that you were feeling uneasy. It would have saved everyone from so much heartache. Also I hope you didn’t think he was going to just listen to your side of the story? You are not always right. Despite the fact that you think you are gods gift to earth – you are not and you are not always right.