Magic – Day 20

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Ok so there is literally magic all around this man. The one I blogged about on Sunday – Day 16.

He is as deep as a well yet so light hearted. We had such a lovely lunch, I’m starting to panic a little about the way he makes me feel. I don’t even want to write about him too much because I feel I am blowing everything out of proportion and getting overexcited. I keep telling myself just to calm down but at the same time why fight this? I deserve to be happy and to feel special.

Strangely enough the panic and fear of this whole situation led me to eat a whole tub of brownies this afternoon because I had no idea how to handle the emotions. I don’t know how to feel special anymore and I don’t know how to feel a good feeling without feeling that it is soon going to be snatched from me and that the person is going to throw it in my face and change their mind completely.

I need to somehow learn that I am worthy again.

Live in the moment and just enjoy because I deserve this.

I deserve everything that life has to offer.

I’m going to have a glass of wine now and lie on my yoga mat and listen to music and probably fall asleep on the floor.

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