This is so dangerous and I can’t stop – Day 22

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Spent the night with him – and we started to come alive.

I am horrified. When I am with him it is as if the whole world is blocked out completely. Its just the two of us. I want to be vulnerable with him, I want to know him, I want to feel him and I want to stare into his green eyes and see him smile. I am falling so fast and it is so magical and I am so afraid that I will somehow lose it all. I am trying so hard not to get swooped away and get lost in him, but I just feel myself falling deeper and deeper into this.

Of course I am freaking out because the timing of all of this couldn’t be more insane. He is in such a difficult space and I am in such a difficult space and somehow we found each other. As lame as this sounds, its as if the stars aligned. And for possibly the first time I just followed my heart and just did what made me happy and it was wonderful and he is wonderful. And am so scared and trying to be ok with the unknown future and just enjoying what is right now.

We had such a great time last night and it was lovely being with my friends. One of the many pro’s of this shit storm I am in, is being able to be free and be with friends. Last night before my friends party I met up with a friend who spontaneously happened to be in town and he called me up and we had drinks and it was wonderful. My best friends and I danced on the tables last night and we of course spilled a glass of wine and laughed until we cried and we hugged and we sang. I picture their faces and my heart smiles and I get goose bumps all over my body.

I am not sure what I have done in this life, but I know I have done something right, to deserve so much love and support from the most incredible people in the world.

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