Well He cancelled dinner. I was not even surprised.
It’s over, I’ve been here before. You know its over, he is slipping out of my grasp and he thinks its ok. It’s not ok. I cant watch this silent farewell unfurl and feel that I have no voice. I have to say good bye. It doesn’t matter if we were prepared for this or if we knew it was coming, it still fucking hurts. I’m not letting it slip away, if it slips away all the beautiful memories go along with it and all that is left is the hurt. I’m remembering the beauty and I’m bidding farewell and holding on to the beauty and not letting it slip away and get lost in amidst the hurt and sadness and disappointment that will turn into resentment.
Drove back to the City.
Drinks with a friends that I worked with – apparently there are so many rumours going around about me and why I resigned and why I left and things I said. I am hurt and disappointed.
Dinner with R. It was lovely. I was guilt ridden, because I kept thinking about Him.