She loves me.
She literally came all the way across the world to be with me.
We spent the day having pita breads and ice cream and walking around the city. Then we had pizza and then we had chocolate calzones and then we have more pizza. Then we had Ben and Jerry’s. Now we having chocolate.
She has soothed my anxiety so much today…
I feel alone.
There are voices in my head telling me that I can’t do it. I can’t conquer this journey on my own. That I have to go home. That it is impossible.
Ok so C is slightly agitated because I won’t let him even touch me, literally all we do is kiss.
I have made it quite clear that I am not going to sleep with him. So I have been told I can’t sleep in his bed anymore hahaha. This is hilarious. He also all of a sudden doesn’t want to go camping with me anymore. Strange.
So this morning I left early and I went exploring around and spent some time on the beach reading and writing and drinking tea.
I have a little bit of anxiety.
My throat is sore and I have a cold. When I get sick I get really sad and really down.
Skyped with Andrew this evening for two hours, it was lovely.
Maybe it’s because I am sick or maybe it’s because I am now in Israel and I was expecting to have an epiphany and I haven’t that I’m feeling incredibly anxious and sad.
Last night I kissed the Boy from Canada, and shared his bed. No I didn’t sleep with him. We only kissed.
Usually I would be more open to this but I am feeling incredibly reserved which made me realized I have fallen for Andrew.
So C (guy from Canada) took me out to breakfast as I had no money haha and then we went for a lovely long walk on the beach. We kissed and we held hands. It was incredible.
He is really lovely and we get along well, much like old friends, like we have known each other in past lives or a parallel universe.
Around 4pm a miracle happened!
The taxi driver from the previous night rocked up at reception with my purse! And my passport!
I am so relieved.
I have the flu which isn’t ideal. So I am going to bed at 7pm!
How could I forget.
In Istanbul I got my tattoo.
Eating disorder recovery symbol.
I love it!
Off to Israel.
I’m on the plane and I miss Istanbul already. I have never had such fun in my life as the past three days!
Arrive in Tel Aviv. Israel boarder control is insane. I have never been asked so many questions in my life. They completely and utterly treat you like a terrorist as you enter that airport haha.
Hop the train Into the centre of town, walk around searching for a cab and I am drowning Under my luggage! Backpack on my back, sleeping bag under my left arm as it fell off my bag and my carry on luggage on my right arm. I am a pack donkey.
Hola a cab! The traffic is madness. ‘Come on! It’s Tel Aviv, it’s alive’ exclaims the taxi driver. His name is Arie and I have never met a man so passionate about his city.
I can’t pay.
I can’t find my purse and I can’t find my passport. This is typical me. Thank god, Arie lets me pay with Uber. Thank god for Uber.
Arrive at my hostel. The good souls take me in, I can spend the night for free and they invite me on the pub crawl!
Hello Tel Aviv, I have no identification. Who am I? I’m an immigrant and I’m getting drunk with a bunch of expats and chatting up a storm with a cute Canadian boy!
Skype with Andrew, I miss him!
Let’s go bar hopping!
These beautiful ceramic handpainted balls bring happiness! I bought three, I love them!
For possibly the first time in all the chapters in my blog, a Part actually ended well and a new one is starting on a high!
To be honest. I can hardly write, I have been struggling to journal because no words can describe the experience and the joy right now!
The sun is out, saw the Hagia Sophia and the blue mosque! It was incredible! Walked around and explored. Met a lovely Muslim man who’s name I cannot remember, and he gave me a little bit of a tour. I bought gifts and I bought a carpet- yes Danielle bought a carpet in Turkey and will be traveling with it in her backpack around Israel – I know, I’m ridiculous!
Most little shops are family owned, they are so quaint, as you enter they offer you tea and coffee. The most delicious apple tea of my life.
Met another Turkish man by the name of Ilan and he was lovely! We had Turkish coffee and some traditional lunch, and I of course cannot remember what it was called!
It’s so magical here, I constantly walk around smiling from ear to ear looking like a fool 😁
Touch down in Istanbul, feeling a little bit nervous, not much English is spoken!
Finally figure out however that the Havvatas bus is the best bet to Taksim square so I catch that for 11 Lira!
Arrive at Taksim and it’s snowing and I have never seen snow – yup, at the age of 26, I have never seen snow!
Instanbul is incredible, it’s magical and it’s alive! I am so excited I can hardly contain myself!
Just walked around the streets, soaking it all in, full of snow, drenched from the snow!
It’s fast paced, people drive like complete idiots, Turkish bitter banter in the street. Everyone has their hands in mittens and they cover their heads in scarves and beanies and berets and hats.
I eat copious amounts of baklava and Ed is silent.
I am content
In 10 hours I’ll be boarding the plane and on my way to Istanbul, the journey begins.
I’m excited yet incredibly nervous. I have no idea what awaits me and I have no idea what the next two months will bring.
I arrive in Istanbul at 05h00 tomorrow morning and spending 2 nights there. Tel Aviv on Thursday for 4 nights…
Then I have no idea where to next.
I’m off to buy a tent for now and I hope to walk and camp along the coast of the dead sea…
I might not post as often as I’m not taking my computer so I’ll update from my phone every so often. Returning to the good old pen and parchment for writing…
I don’t know if it’s because I am leaving for two months or because this is natural. All the feelings with Andrew have magnified and we becoming vulnerable around each other.
I repacked my backpack four times this afternoon. Every time I finished I picked it up and it was still too heavy to carry, not too heavy but not particularly comfortable.
I’m stuck in a pickle because I seem to have too many pairs of shoes. Running shoes are a must as they comfortable and they have my inner soles in so they support my feet and can walk many miles. My boots go everywhere with me, leather indigo, they filthy, I’ve polished them once in the past 4 years. They represent me, they are me, if I was a material object, I would most likely be these indigo leather lace up boots. The boots are coming. One pair of flip flops – backpackers equals communal bathrooms and my best friend has urged me to pack flip flops ‘you don’t want to get warts from those disgusting showers, pack your flip flops!’ So no argument there. This is where the problem comes in. I want to take my Nikes, life is not complete without a good pair of Nikes. My black rouche runs, I love them! Hopefully I would have sorted this out by the time I leave.
Two pairs of jeans, tracksuit pants, one dress, two pairs of shorts, 5 shirts, a jersey and my jacket. Socks and underwear and a massive bar of soap – a lot of washing will be done these next two month. Washing by hands – believe it or not, I’m quite psyched about this. I don’t know why but I am. I have packed an insane amount of wet wipes, my mom gave me a bunch ‘they always useful, and zip lock bags, you always need zip lock bags.’
I have packed minimal toiletries as they just too heavy. I’m going to use the sample shampoo and conditioner and soap that I get at the hotels. Yes, Danielle is not going to use incredibly overpriced salon shampoo, it’s ludicrous! It’s happening, I don’t have space or strength to carry hair products, coconut oil, soap and all those luxuries.
I’m off to dinner with Andrew and then spending the night 😉
Back to the city this afternoon.
My best friends bought me 3 journals for a going away gift for my trip 🙂
We all had dinner and danced on the tables and drank too much.
I am going to miss them so much. I drove out the drive way and I missed them already. I was down the road and they texted me they miss me already.
I know I have fucked up a lot, but I did something right!