Weight gain, biggest I have been in years. Somehow I think its funny, it’s uncomfortable and I feel like a stranger in my own but, but I find it funny. It doesn’t make me sad, it doesn’t make me hate myself and judge myself. I don’t look at myself in the mirror with disgust anymore. I haven’t been restricting and when ED suggests I purge, I don’t, I literally say ‘whats the point?’
When I am comfortable and ready in my body and in my mind, I will focus more on the ideal body I would like and it will be fit and strong and healthy and balanced. That is my ideal body, healthy.