I have no idea what I am doing – Day 7 


I caught a bus to Tiberius and I have no fucking idea what I am doing here.

Like seriously. Who the fuck decides to backpack with no plan through a country that is a war zone?

Honestly I am sitting in a mall and I when I step out of this mall. I am not sure where I am heading to. I’m going to walk 10km’s to the Sea of Galilee and then what?

I am a moron.

Also I feel so bad about kissing the guy. Ugh I miss Andrew,

I didn’t tell Andrew exactly. But he knows, I gave him the just of it. He said

‘Look, just be free ok, live in the moment. I miss you. You going to be ok, you need this time for yourself and you need to just be wild and do whatever you want. You are in such a confused space, just be. You need this. When you get back, I will be here’

I think he is a saint.

I feel like I don’t deserve him sometimes. What did I do to get so lucky to have such a special person in my life.

Author: gettingmyheartbrokengenerally

If you asked what I do in my spare time I'd answer... Getting my heart broken generally. Running a business, navigating into my 30's with incredible family and friends. Where I am now, 4 years after divorce, travel and relationships.

4 thoughts on “I have no idea what I am doing – Day 7 ”

  1. Your blog popped up in my followed tags this morning. Your gut level honesty really twanged something inside me. I can’t identify it, but keep doing you. And don’t die! Sometimes pursuing yourself to these extremes is necessary, and I hope you find what you’re looking for. Best wishes with the bulimia as well. I’ve had issues across the spectrum regarding eating disorders and mostly have a reprieve today, thankfully. If no one told you today, you’re awesome!

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  2. Once upon a time there was a woman who was tired of feeling hurt and broken. She walked to the sea of Galilee and met a spirit in white. “Will you come with me? Trust in me? Befriend me?” It said. Skeptical she said, “I am unsure.” “Give it a try,” it said, “if you don’t like it, you can always return.” This spirit didn’t ask her to raise to it’s level. I simply sat with her in her darkness. And slowly but surely, as they spent more time together, she found her own light return. This is my story and many others. Two passages that could go with it would be John 8:1-11 and Luke 7:36 til the end. What I found is that I was, more often than not, the one casting stones at myself, and this Christ-like spirit was simply there to stop me and tell me, it loved me. All I had to do was stop casting stones at myself so that I could hear it and feel it.

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