Yesterday I was feeling ill and I felt the flu coming on but today it has hit me like a ton of bricks!
I felt so sick, shaking and my body sore and the highest temperature imaginable that I even started crying and then A decided that was it. And we decided to come home. We were only meant to leave tomorrow. But I felt so ill and he wasn’t feeling great so we came home and went to sleep at 6pm.
And A took such great care of me, running me a bath and making me tea and sandwiches. I love him so much
Are you waving or are you cresting? I did mushrooms for the first time ever on Friday night all the way through to Saturday morning and it was incredible!Like seriously on of the most fun nights of my life. I did them with A and a bunch of his friends and it was fabulous.
What was the best though was lying in the tent with A chatting for four hours because we couldn’t sleep. We spoke about so many things – our childhoods, our dreams, our relationship.
And we just lay chatting and kissing and making out like teenagers – it was so special. Being in his arms and just chatting and kissing passionately.
Tomorrow A and I are going with a bunch of friends to a party for the weekend where we will be camping and we are so excited we can hardly wait!
I couldn’t even work today!
Today, for the first time n a long time I felt like binging and purging.
So I had two donuts for breakfast and then restricted the rest of the day and had another donut on my way home.
Now I’m waiting for one of my best friends to come over for wine because she needed to chat and I think I need to chat too. Spend some time with a friend and have some girl time.
The cause of the urges is due to quite a few things
I have lost weight recently and I’m loving it and this causes a bit of anxiety – because instead of just continuing to eat healthy and exercise – I get anxious and I freak out and I obsess – I’m trying so hard to not slip into old ways but today it go the better of me.
Work is very stressful – things are going well, but money is tight and the voices are loud.
I’m going away for a week with my parents and A is going away with his friends for a weekend – I don’t know why this makes me anxious but it does?
So I’m eating donuts daily…
We’ve been doing really well with our running, A and I, today we did a 7km and we actually managed quite well 🙂
Then made delicious pasta for dinner and I concentrated on every morsel that entered my mouth and tried not to be freaked out by all the cream.
Time is going so quickly.
A year ago I moved into my own apartment, I was seeing someone and then I met A.
So much has happened this year but at the same time it is absolutely horrifying how quickly the year has flown by.
How quickly life has flown by.
Sometimes I get so petrified that something is going to go terribly wrong with my relationship that I want to run away from it all.
Its so incredible and I’m enjoying it cautiously. But I get scared that its all going to slip away…
So its my best friends birthday today and we had the most fabulous dinner!
The two of them and A and I landed up drinking 5 bottles of wine and cocktails and eating and chatting and drinking and it was the best 🙂
I launched my collection today!
It was the scariest moment ever. Its so hard to put yourself out there creatively. All the criticism that you’ll receive on work that is so close to your soul. It was as if I was baring my soul to everyone when I launch it – I had so many mixed emotions.
Excited of course but horrified.
The fear I felt was unreal and the uncertainty was debilitating. I kept thinking to myself that I was being ridiculous. The voices in my head kept saying ‘your’e not good enough’ and ‘no one will like your clothes’ and things like ‘you’re not even talented, who do you think you are to even call yourself a designer and embark on this journey’.
‘You’re not good enough’
The voices just kept going and I didn’t even stop them and I didn’t fight them. I merely listened to them and said ‘I hear you, but I’m going to do it anyway’. And I did 🙂 and the response has been amazing!
If you wanna check it out – check my Facebook page for the collection:
Hanging with my bunz 🙂 the best