Pressure – Day 21

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A has made it quite clear that he wants to take things slow and I really need to take things slow.

I however don’t know what thats like. I know how to be in a couple, because for the past 5 years of my life, I’ve been in a couple. I don’t know how to plan things without my partner and I don’t know how to be chill. I have no idea.

My parents have an opportunity to take me with to Namibia for a mini holiday and for business and they’ve invited A to come with. He however has booked for a festival that weekend with friends. Now I naturally want him to come with me to Namibia. But can I ask him to cancel with his friends? Can I ask him to choose me? Well yes of course I can but its only been almost 6 months that we’ve been dating – soooo?

Am I moving to fast now?

Can I ask him to join me, if he says no, I’ll be upset? Of course my mum already said surely he can cancel a trip with friends for a trip to a different country? Well yes, mum he can, but should he?

My anxiety is eating me up alive.

I cant do this. I just cant. I want everything to be simple. I want to be single or married. I cant do this dating thing.

Author: gettingmyheartbrokengenerally

If you asked what I do in my spare time I'd answer... Getting my heart broken generally. Running a business, navigating into my 30's with incredible family and friends. Where I am now, 4 years after divorce, travel and relationships.

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