Grumpy Baby – Day 24

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So I went to the doctor and I do have a bladder infection. UGH, got antibiotics, so should be better in no time, but now Im on my period and have period pain. And I feel so lethargic for some reason. Like I could literally just sleep for days.

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So I’m the heaviest I have ever been but I haven’t binged and purged/ starved in ages – Day 23

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I guess I need to be proud of that?

Instead of beating myself up for not eating healthy and skipping gym and having parties where I drink a bit too much.

Instead realize how far you’ve come?

I’ll get there. Eventually I will get back to where I want to be and I will be the best version of myself. It hasn’t even been a full year since my divorce was finalized so I guess I cant expect myself to be 100% just yet – and I cant expect myself to be the way I was before it all fell apart. I’ll get there, eventually I’ll get to a place that I am proud of and a routine and lifestyle that I can actually keep up with.

I’m healthy now – mentally I have ups and downs but I am nowhere near where I used to be – mentally I am a different person. I have my own business and while its hard its better than where I was. And the best thing…I have the most wonderful loving boyfriend and I am so grateful for that.

Routine – Day 22

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I need routine.

I really struggle without routine, I feel all over the place and as if I have no structure and no direction and everything is just a mess.

But every time I get into a good routine it lasts about 2-3 weeks and then something happens like I get the flu or I go away or I randomly get depressed. Then I have to start all over again and its so frustrating because I think this is pretty much the way my life. Yes I can try keep things more organized but things are inevitably always going to go astray. My mom reckons the fact that I am aware of these patterns is already helpful. So its going to happen and it is what it is – just get back up again.

I suppose she is right.

Alone time – Day 21

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A and his friends got home at 3am this morning and when we woke up he was so miserable and hungover. I woke up around 7:30 and so did one of his friends so we landed up cleaning the whole house after the disastrous mess after yesterdays party. We had coffee and chatted and landed up going to Krispy Kreme to get everyone donuts. It was awesome – really great getting to know A’s friends more.

A was such a grumpy baby the he landed up going home to sleep in his one bed lol. I stayed at my house and been listening to music in the garden and reading all day and its been amazing 🙂

House Party TAKE 2 – Day 20

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After A came to bed at 05h00 this morning, we then woke up at 07h00 because we had t run a 10km this morning for training. Needless to say – we only did 5km’s and we walked and A held onto me the whole way, looking as if he was either going to hurl or cry or probably a combination of both.

Another 9 friends came over at 14h00 and hen we started again. With beers and next thing three bottles of gin were gone and we were playing Indian war signs. Its been so much fun having the house to ourselves and being able to host and have everyone over 🙂

Hopped into bed by 21h00 which was amazing – naturally I was slightly annoyed with A because we said we’d spend the night alone but hey – thats life – and him and everyone else went out partying.

House Party – Day 19

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We had an awesome dinner party where I made greek salad, roasted baby potatoes, lam chops and chicken kebabs. I was feeling so inspired that I even made blue velvet cupcakes and I forgot to take photos!

My best friends came over and the two of A’s friends. Naturally we landed up going out to a bar and I got to bed at about 2 – but A and the boys thought it be wise if they stayed up until 5am.

Mexican Fiesta – Day 18

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Landed up cancelling dinner plans and A and I had a little Mexican fiesta by ourselves at home and got to bed by 9 🙂 was perfect. We made quesidellas with all the yummy salsa, sour cream and guacamole 🙂

In other news I think I have a Urinary Tract Infection? Oh my god the level of the stomach aches I was dealing with today are insane. Lower abdomen pain and I need to pee all the time – at least I feel I do.

I knew all this sex was going to catch up to us eventually!