Happy Birthday you evil bitch – Day 3

EDNOS turns 10 years old this year.

Since the tender age of 16 we have been friends.

We had our breaks from each other. For years at a time we were only in contact once in a while. But our friendship never ended. We will always be there for each other in times of need.

 

Lets go binge and purge on your birthday cake…

4 years old – Day 21

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We had a birthday party for my nephew 🙂

I’ll never forget the day that kid was born. I remember what I was wearing and I remember the smells of the hospital. The shock horror on my sisters face when she looked at her new born baby. He was so tiny it was frightening, everyone was too scared to even hold him, my mom had to bath him. My brother in laws eyes as big as saucers. I can’t remember when last we were all so overwhelmed.

Fast forward four years later and there isn’t much that brings me more joy than seeing his smile and hearing his laugh.

I baked him a spiderman cake and he wanted to help me decorate it – he then decided it was way more fun decorating my face with chocolate icing.

 

Birthday girl – Day 15

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26 years old today and I had three pieces of cake. Am I happy with myself? Not really and I obviously thought of purging and now I’ve had my last slice before. Red velvet, cream cheese icing melting in my tongue – pure bliss.

I didn’t imagine I would be here when I was 26, and I’m not imagining where I will be when I am 36, life doesn’t give into your imagination.

My ex husband didn’t wish me happy birthday.

My mom and dad shed a tear today and told me how incredibly proud they are. They are proud of how I dealt with this year, the person I have become.

I’m not 100% happy with myself right now, but I will say that I am content. My weight is the highest it has been in a while and my clothes are tight and wearing a bikini makes me cringe but I wear it and I wear a brave face and I accept that this is me right now. This is where I have to be right now.

I’m growing, I’m not where I want to be, but I am getting there and I will be found.

I’m not alone and I’ll never be.