Birthday girl – Day 15

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26 years old today and I had three pieces of cake. Am I happy with myself? Not really and I obviously thought of purging and now I’ve had my last slice before. Red velvet, cream cheese icing melting in my tongue – pure bliss.

I didn’t imagine I would be here when I was 26, and I’m not imagining where I will be when I am 36, life doesn’t give into your imagination.

My ex husband didn’t wish me happy birthday.

My mom and dad shed a tear today and told me how incredibly proud they are. They are proud of how I dealt with this year, the person I have become.

I’m not 100% happy with myself right now, but I will say that I am content. My weight is the highest it has been in a while and my clothes are tight and wearing a bikini makes me cringe but I wear it and I wear a brave face and I accept that this is me right now. This is where I have to be right now.

I’m growing, I’m not where I want to be, but I am getting there and I will be found.

I’m not alone and I’ll never be.

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Happy 34th Birthday snuggle buggle – Day 24 part 2

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Today is my EX husbands birthday (yes I can officially say ex-husband).

I called him, we had a lovely chat, the connection is still there, the friendship is still there. I feel very happy and content about this.

The divorce was the most traumatic experience of his life, he suffered, he was depressed. He knows I struggled – but he struggled more. It’s fine. Do what you have to, feel and say what you have to.

I feel content that we are here and we can keep our friendship.

Divorce Party – Day 24

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Look at my spectacular cake hahaha

Last night was very depressing honestly that we’re celebrating the death of my marriage.

We are however celebrating that the struggle is over. The chapter has been closed. A new chapter is beginning.

A new journey, my journey.