You, me and Dupree – Day 7

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We’re housesitting for my aunt and uncle until Sunday and its great, we’re so excited 🙂

One of A’s best friends, Matty, as just come back from Kenya and we haven’t seen him for bout 3 months so he came and crashed our romantic dinner. We landed up drinking 5 bottles of wine between the three of us and sat on the veranda watching the storm pass until 01h00 in the morning.

We were making jokes that we probably all going to have to move into a house together one day. Me and A and all his friends because no other woman seems to put up with them 🙂 was so sweet.

I love all those boys so much.

I missed you – Day 6

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How typical of the universe.

Last week I posted about my concern that A and I spend way too much time together and I’m starting to wonder if its a good thing. Well…now I haven’t seen him for 3 nights in a row because I’ve been so busy at work.

Strangely its been good. I miss his a hell of a lot and its awful not seeing his smile everyday but I’ve been doing so much work, and spending time at my house and reading and actually hanging out with me again 🙂

Saw him this evening and it was magic 🙂 he was smiling so much and giggled when we kissed and when I asked whats funny, he simply said ‘nothing, I’m just really happy :)’

Its amazing to be back in his arms.

I give away all the power – Day 24

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In therapy today my psychologist pointed out that I always give people the power. I don’t take the lead even when its my right.

With work for example, I put all the power into my partners hands and don’t take control of the situation.

I’m always afraid of being the bad one. So I’ll let people take advantage of me over and over again all in the name of being a ‘nice person?

I do it at work and in relationships and basically every day life.

She suggested to listen to my body. If I have to make a decision I should always go with my gut – whether that outcome benefits the other person or not. Because in the end I’m just hurting myself…

Friends again? – Day 3

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I invited my two best friends over for dinner tonight. I haven’t seen them since their wedding which was two months ago.

After my friend said that I never spend time with them anymore because I now have a boyfriend, I kind of just got over the whole evening.

In the end things got better and we had a nice time but all in all the evening was pretty average…

So much love for this girl – Day 11

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Had dinner with one of my best friends tonight and it was great.

She has bipolar disorder and has been going through a really tough time so it was great to catch up with her and see that she is doing better. 

We chatted, had wine and only landed up going home at midnight.

It’s crazy how we can have so many different experiences with mental health, a year ago I was in the boat she is now and I could relate to everything she said. Now its like a distant memory. Do we forget? Do we choose to forget or do we block it out?

Friends – Day 9

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I haven’t seen my two best friends since their wedding. We keep making plans and then one of us are unable to make it.

To be completely honest, I haven’t particularly put in much effort.

Things have just never been the same since I came back from Israel and since they planned the wedding.

She became bridezilla and I didn’t appreciate the way she treated me while I was making her dress. The two of them have said that I chose A over them and she has never been particularly open armed with him. Then they told me that they saved my life – which pissed me off. Because they helped me so much through my divorce which I will always appreciate, I just really didn’t expect them to say ‘we saved your life’. That was a bit upsetting because now I feel like I have to repay them or something.

And now…

I just don’t have the desire to even see them and this is worrying.