So much love – Day 20

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This weekend with my family has been absolutely fantastic. I honestly couldn’t be more grateful to have such a warm and loving family.

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In my heart and in my head, I’ll never take back the things I said – Day 6

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I couldn’t save us, we were build on shaky ground all along. Its as if we build ourselves up just to break us down and now I could literally build a city with all the stones they threw at me.

I couldn’t save us and I think if I could have reached him and pulled him from the dark and I could build us up again…I wouldn’t have.

With all the heartache and the pain. With all the words we exchanged – I wouldn’t take it back.

Happy Birthday 25daysofdivorce – Day 25

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My blog turns 1 year old today 🙂

I cannot believe this blog has been going for a year already and I cant believe everything thats happened.

How much I have grown and how much the blog has grown.

In the past year:

Got divorced,

Moved into my own flat,

Quit my job,

Started dating,

Recovery for eating disorder – still doing this,

Backpacked through Israel solo,

Started a relationship with the most wonderful man,

Started a business

Blogged every day for a year

And probably a whole lot more 😉

I’m so proud and grateful to every single follower and reader, Thanks so much for all your love and support 🙂

I guess I should be proud – Day 1 PART 11

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Can’t believe its part 11 already.

I guess I should be proud of how far I have come and where I am in life. Things could have been so different.

I chose self preservation over being emotionally neglected and miserable in a marriage that was toxic. I got divorced and uprooted my whole life. Everything is different now. Everything.

I hardly recognise the girl I was last year this time. And I hardly recognise the situation and the trauma as my own. I often forget about it all.

Then it comes in bouts and waves and reminds me, and the feelings return for a moment.

Sometimes I forget it but its still there, and I guess the feelings will remain for a while still…

Friends – Day 9

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I haven’t seen my two best friends since their wedding. We keep making plans and then one of us are unable to make it.

To be completely honest, I haven’t particularly put in much effort.

Things have just never been the same since I came back from Israel and since they planned the wedding.

She became bridezilla and I didn’t appreciate the way she treated me while I was making her dress. The two of them have said that I chose A over them and she has never been particularly open armed with him. Then they told me that they saved my life – which pissed me off. Because they helped me so much through my divorce which I will always appreciate, I just really didn’t expect them to say ‘we saved your life’. That was a bit upsetting because now I feel like I have to repay them or something.

And now…

I just don’t have the desire to even see them and this is worrying.

Good bye my loves – Day 9 

  
Tonight Milou and Alon kidnapped me from the hostel and took me to their house for a quiet dinner. 

Quiet? Yeah right. 

We are Dutch pancakes, sang and played cards. Drank wine and listened to African music and spoke about our hometowns. 

3 different nationalities. 3 different cultures. 3 different languages. 

But we were one. 

No matter where we are from or who we are. We live in the same world. This beautiful, sick, twisted world and we all share one thing- emotion. 

We all love. 

We all cry. 

We are all one