Now this is a really big deal…
My ex husband was convinced that I couldn’t keep anything alive. So I became convinced that I was unable to keep a plant alive. I would always buy pot plants and they would always die – I mean always. And my garden was also always dying.
Clearly this was all due to a bad energy.
Because now I somehow managed to have a new flower bloom on my orchid.
I just want to say in is arms forever.
Out there I feel as if i am drowning but when I’m in your arms my heart is flooded with calm.
Every so often I still stop and think about how lucky I am.
How something so simple has turned into something so magical.
‘I thought you just wanted to be friends’
‘I did, I really did, this wasn’t the plan’ I said
‘I’m glad it turned out this way’ he said and kissed me on the cheek.
‘Me too’ I smiled, ‘me too’.
Another one of my best friends who we visited today is pregnant 🙂
We extending our family and my I couldn’t be happier. We looked at her ultrasound and my heart skipped a beat.
It is as if my soul is smile.
I will admit that being with her and her husband today did tug on my heart strings a little. She got married 6 months after I did and we always spoke about being pregnant together. It did bring back memories of all the hopes and dreams I had of having a family and a life with my ex husband. When I open the kitchen cupboards I find myself wishing that I had a home with kitchen cupboards instead of my tiny space I have. I wish I had a guest room and a living room and a room to share with the one I love.
I get lost in you.
When I wake up in the complete darkness and somehow throughout the night our bodies intertwined and you are holding me so closely and tightly, it is as if we have been folded into each other.
Ending the chapter with you is my favorite way…
It’s as if I am uncomfortable being happy or something.
I have got so used to the opposite, that I find the calm strange…
These beautiful ceramic handpainted balls bring happiness! I bought three, I love them!
For possibly the first time in all the chapters in my blog, a Part actually ended well and a new one is starting on a high!
To be honest. I can hardly write, I have been struggling to journal because no words can describe the experience and the joy right now!
The sun is out, saw the Hagia Sophia and the blue mosque! It was incredible! Walked around and explored. Met a lovely Muslim man who’s name I cannot remember, and he gave me a little bit of a tour. I bought gifts and I bought a carpet- yes Danielle bought a carpet in Turkey and will be traveling with it in her backpack around Israel – I know, I’m ridiculous!
Most little shops are family owned, they are so quaint, as you enter they offer you tea and coffee. The most delicious apple tea of my life.
Met another Turkish man by the name of Ilan and he was lovely! We had Turkish coffee and some traditional lunch, and I of course cannot remember what it was called!
It’s so magical here, I constantly walk around smiling from ear to ear looking like a fool 😁
Back to the city this afternoon.
My best friends bought me 3 journals for a going away gift for my trip 🙂
We all had dinner and danced on the tables and drank too much.
I am going to miss them so much. I drove out the drive way and I missed them already. I was down the road and they texted me they miss me already.
I know I have fucked up a lot, but I did something right!