It is technically impossible to eat your feelings but you can keep trying – Day 11 

So today is my first shift and it’s the day shift. My new boss and the staff here at the hostel are incredibly anal and ocd. Like oh my god. I thought I had obsessive compulsive issues but this is a whole new league. 

Everything needs to be done in a certain order, you cannot show a guest the kitchen before showing them the wifi password. Like it’s just not done. It’s like a cardinal sin if you mess up the order. 

The people are really lovely and nice but they speak in monotone and I feel like a firecracker because I somewhat speak a lot and I get excited over everything. So I feel like I need to tone down my personality every 5 seconds. 

Anyway because of this, people are watching me constantly. So I feel like I have to be perfect so my anxiety levels are through the roof. 

So b/p four times today. Every time I was left alone, bulimia and I hung out big time! 

So this evening I am going to bed early as I have a pounding headache and I am as bloated as fuck. 

And surprise – I still feel uncomfortable and anxious about this place.