Struggling – Day 12

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I’m really struggling at work.

I think I was a little in over my head when I took the job. The woman that was in the position before me was working at the company for 15 years. I’ve only been working for 3 years.

I’m not meeting the deadlines. I’m working too slowly and I am clearly not experienced enough for this job. It’s fast paced and I’m struggling to keep up.

I just feel disappointed in myself…and it makes me sad and I just want to cry every time I think about it.

It makes me feel like a failure.

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Ugh – Day 6

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Work is very busy and it’s a lot of pressure.

And half of the pressure is from myself.

I go to work horrified that I am going to do something wrong.

Spent the night with A which was lovely. But I could feel that I wasn’t my usual self. I could feel that I was anxious and that I was tense and worried about work. I wasn’t always in the moment.

I’m looking forward to this week being over and being able to sleep in with him and relax.

My boss and my bestie – Day 7

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My bosses husband was in a car accident.

I heard on Friday, I also heard on Friday that she has bad mouthed me and twisted the whole story about my resignation. Everyone is speaking about it. I am the villain again. Rumours going around every where.

I called her this morning, and we spent the afternoon together in the studio. We spoke and we patched things up, we both agreed that we completely merged work and friendship and we should have handled this in a better manner. I am going to help her this week just to keep the ball rolling, until Friday when the business closes for the holidays.

Our friendship is special, I will never deny it.

I enjoyed being in the studio with her again, working with all the factory staff again and seeing James.