We’re housesitting for my aunt and uncle until Sunday and its great, we’re so excited 🙂
One of A’s best friends, Matty, as just come back from Kenya and we haven’t seen him for bout 3 months so he came and crashed our romantic dinner. We landed up drinking 5 bottles of wine between the three of us and sat on the veranda watching the storm pass until 01h00 in the morning.
We were making jokes that we probably all going to have to move into a house together one day. Me and A and all his friends because no other woman seems to put up with them 🙂 was so sweet.
I love all those boys so much.
What makes everything so special with A is the immense amount of trust I feel when I am with him. The way he makes me feel so safe, as if no harm will ever come near me when I am with him. It was already 2 months ago that we tried for the first time and after having a few cocktails, going down on him in the car on our way home, it felt like it was time to try again.
It was magical. It was special, he was so kind and gentle and loving, even more than our first time. We kissed slowly, he put music on and undressed me slowly, staring into each others eyes all the while. It was tight and slow and erotic but so romantic at the same time. We smiled at each other every so often, he kissed my forehead, we held hands and he whispered ‘you’re so special’ and he asked if I was ok. We looked deeply into each others eyes, I squeezed his hands and he kissed my back softly when he finished inside me. He is so special and magical and I never want to leave his side.
I love those Friday nights that are unplanned and turn out to be so lovely. I had drinks with family and by the time I left for A’s house, I was a bit boozed and all I wanted was to make love to him. I got to his house and it was magical, we smoked a joint in the car, went for all you can eat sushi, had gin and tonic and slept soundly in each others arms.
Went with A and the family to watch rugby today at Loftes in Pretoria and it was amazing. We played against Australia and by some miracle we won – we played terribly. Kicking the ball from one side of the field to the other side over and over again with no tactics – pointless.
I never liked rugby.
My ex husband would be horrified if he saw me at games and speaking about rugby.
But A loves it. He absolutely loves it and I have been converted to a fan all because of him. Because of the joy he feels for the game, the excitement. The way he picks me up and high fives me and kisses me when we score a try and the way he lies on my shoulder sad when we lose. Its not the game, its how much he loves it that has made me love it 🙂
Are you waving or are you cresting? I did mushrooms for the first time ever on Friday night all the way through to Saturday morning and it was incredible!Like seriously on of the most fun nights of my life. I did them with A and a bunch of his friends and it was fabulous.
What was the best though was lying in the tent with A chatting for four hours because we couldn’t sleep. We spoke about so many things – our childhoods, our dreams, our relationship.
And we just lay chatting and kissing and making out like teenagers – it was so special. Being in his arms and just chatting and kissing passionately.
We’ve been doing really well with our running, A and I, today we did a 7km and we actually managed quite well 🙂
Then made delicious pasta for dinner and I concentrated on every morsel that entered my mouth and tried not to be freaked out by all the cream.
A has made it quite clear that he wants to take things slow and I really need to take things slow.
I however don’t know what thats like. I know how to be in a couple, because for the past 5 years of my life, I’ve been in a couple. I don’t know how to plan things without my partner and I don’t know how to be chill. I have no idea.
My parents have an opportunity to take me with to Namibia for a mini holiday and for business and they’ve invited A to come with. He however has booked for a festival that weekend with friends. Now I naturally want him to come with me to Namibia. But can I ask him to cancel with his friends? Can I ask him to choose me? Well yes of course I can but its only been almost 6 months that we’ve been dating – soooo?
Am I moving to fast now?
Can I ask him to join me, if he says no, I’ll be upset? Of course my mum already said surely he can cancel a trip with friends for a trip to a different country? Well yes, mum he can, but should he?
My anxiety is eating me up alive.
I cant do this. I just cant. I want everything to be simple. I want to be single or married. I cant do this dating thing.