Tag: sad

So I’m the heaviest I have ever been but I haven’t binged and purged/ starved in ages – Day 23

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I guess I need to be proud of that?

Instead of beating myself up for not eating healthy and skipping gym and having parties where I drink a bit too much.

Instead realize how far you’ve come?

I’ll get there. Eventually I will get back to where I want to be and I will be the best version of myself. It hasn’t even been a full year since my divorce was finalized so I guess I cant expect myself to be 100% just yet – and I cant expect myself to be the way I was before it all fell apart. I’ll get there, eventually I’ll get to a place that I am proud of and a routine and lifestyle that I can actually keep up with.

I’m healthy now – mentally I have ups and downs but I am nowhere near where I used to be – mentally I am a different person. I have my own business and while its hard its better than where I was. And the best thing…I have the most wonderful loving boyfriend and I am so grateful for that.

Bitch avenue – Day 22

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Went out last night. A got drunk and he got mean – which is strange, because even at his drunkest he has somehow managed to always remain sweet and loving.

We waited for the uber, and I asked if he had the house keys, and then…

‘Not a fuck am I giving you my house keys’ he said.

Well now I was just like huh? and in a shock.

Got into the uber and we gave his address and there was bitter banter fighting when the uber driver said ‘I can sense real love here’

Danielle: “Definitely from my side’

And what does A say?????????

‘Not from my side’ he said raising his brows.

‘Ok then, well I think its best that I go home then’ I said in tears, by now I was a complete mess.

‘Yes, home to bitch avenue’ Said A.

So at 01;35 I packed my bags, put him to bed, and I drove home in tears.