Sitting in my boyfriends bed – he’s upstairs watching soccer – usually I sit with him and watch but tonight a strange feeling came over me so I’ve come downstairs to write.
I do miss my ex husband sometimes. Like right now, listening to music that we discovered together and loved. Songs we sang to over a glass of wine while I was cooking and he sat on the kitchen counter next to me. The two of us giggling over something and his smile stained a purplish, red from the wine. I do miss those moments.
And I think thats ok and I think its ok to admit it.
For the first time in possibly my whole life, there has been a month where I didn’t stress financially. I’ve never been more secure in myself as I am right now – I finally went back to the gym last week and have stopped eating cake on a daily basis lol.
Things are good.
Of course things with A are perfect. Its been over a year and some how he is still the most incredible person I have ever met and I fall more and more in love with him every day – I know how cliche that sounds! But its true.
So do I miss my ex husband sometimes? Ye of course I do. Is it a big deal however? No, of course not.
Thats pretty much all my focus at the moment.
There really is nothing more I want than to get this winter collection into stores
But that was me today lol
I only showered at about 16h00. I spent the day on the floor outside – because it was so fucking hot today. Working and making smoothies every time I got hungry because I only have yogurt and fruit in my house. Listening to the water feature outside my uncles front door and in the background hearing the cleaning lady singing along to Lorde’s Royals, in the background.
Two clothing boutiques have got back to me and I spent my whole day making catalogues and working on a presentation for them.
If this deal comes through for me – I will literally be over the moon. I swear, I will jump over the moon. Thats just how happy I will be.
I’m operating a one woman show here – designer, seamstress, marketer, manager, accountant and cleaner.
Basically spent my whole weekend creating my lookbook for my new collection and working on my website.
A went away and he is back today 🙂 I can’t wait!
Just stepped in and placed an order and now I have the money to pay for medical aid this month. Thank you!
Resort collection used quite a bit of money…
Today I bought fabrics for my new orders and my bank balance has now slipped into the negatives. Thankfully a very spontaneous woman popped into my studio today and she wants a skirt so thats a tiny bit of money at least. But its not enough to cover medical expenses, pay for my storage unit – where all my furniture from my marriage is just stagnating and sucking up my funds, also the my phone, gym… and so on.
I have 7 days to get in new orders and make money?
So I’m sitting binging on mini Swiss rolls and browsing through my room looking for things that I could potentially sell for some extra cash?
Holding thumbs when the resort collection is released on Monday, I get lots of traffic!
Well its 11am and my model was meant to come see me at 1pm.
She just cancelled.
And I mean cancelled today and cancelled for the shoot tomorrow.
Its exactly 22hours until the shoot and I still have to hem 2 pairs of pants, 3 dresses and put buttons on 2 dresses and then steam all the clothes. And also find a new model – Fantastic.
But guess what. My previous model from my last shoot is available thank god. And I’m going to use her again. She is perfect, reliable and enthusiastic and I know my clothing fits her incredibly well. It would be child’s play to search for a new model at such a late stage and just pray that she is good and fits into my clothes.
In all honestly – perhaps this was a blessing.